Must Make this Quick!

Okay, sorry no time tonight for the usual (cutesyness, pics and the basics like spelling, editing of things like run on sentances and basic grammar) - but I just had to share last two days.

This year has consisted of RE meetings, the HSG, coochie-cam appts, b/w appts, trips to the pharmacy, psycologist appts, acupuncture appts, scheduling of all of the above, and calls to Insurance. All during the business hours of 8am-5pm.

I have been physically and mentally absent from work on many occasion. This is now all starting to bite me in the butt. Granted, *hopefully* one of these days I'll be a normal(?) pregnant person with normal appointments for the rest of the year, but still. The first half of the year has been one huge distraction.

Work has sucked recently without my issues. They have increased our client count by 50%, we have lossed resources due to layoffs, and time sensitive projects that are legally required once every so many years happens to fall on this particular year. Yet, most everything that I am evaluated on for purposes of annual merit increases or bonuses (and ultimately job security) is none of the above, currently out of my control, or not something I have the time to do whilst I try to simply stop the bleeding. But, it's not just me...my entire team is feeling the pinch. It's a really bad year to be in our jobs right now.

But all of my absences have helped create this massive hole that I can't seem to get myself out of. Yesterday my (thankfully awesome) boss came to me to discuss my performance. I had two clients wish to complain about my lack of responsiveness. And truthfully, they are right. I just haven't been able to get to everyone. Then today there was another complaint, albeiet a very kind client who said that they loved me and thought I was great - just wanted to bring to her attention my recent uncharacteristic behavior.

Lovely.

Then I broke down today. This time someone yelled at me about why I hadn't resolved their inquiry a week ago. My boss met with me to discuss the follow up to the client who was kind but complained nonetheless. When she finished, she stopped to ask how I was doing because she didn't think I was having a good day. I broke down again. Then the rest of the day I was on the verge of tears the whole time.

When someone asked me a work question, I was great - but they could tell I had been crying so they'd stop to ask how I was doing and bam...here come the floodworks again. It was people caring about me that got to me the worst.

And of course I was working off of lack of sleep too which doesn't help. This morning when I got up for my "Every eight hours I must insert frozen bullet up the whoohaa" thing, half asleep I saw red on the tp. Looked like what would normally be the first wipe or two hailing AF. I kinda freaked out. EVEN THOUGH I knew it could be completely normal and even due to the progesterone irritating the sensitive womanly bits normally only occupied by those with the proper tourist visas to be there in the first place. I remained calm- Okay no clots, only bright red on first wipe, no cramps- I'm okay. That is until I went back to bed. I recalled the events of the day. First trip to acupuncture into this pg, first chinese herbs perscribed by acu, prior day pains*, FORGOT my 12:30 progesterone. It all swirled together and made for one nervous nelly. I woke Marvy up to pray for me.

It didn't come back the rest of the day. I am most inclined to believe the frozen bullets are to blame. But it sure stole some restful hours of sleep this morning.

*Thank you to Kristen and the rest of the bunch who brought to my attention Round Ligaments Pain. This article, plus a others I researched on the web made it sound exactly like this. I immediately felt better, thank you.

Okay, I've gotta run now. Must get to bed, so I can get to work early to try to get myself out of my mess.