Job Application: Now Hiring?

I realize this is a soft job market. In my line of business I see this every day. In the US we reached record level unemployment numbers. Hundreds of thousands of people are without a job. I am very thankful for the job that I have. My company went through some layoffs this year and I considered myself very lucky to have been spared.

Most people that work in my industry have distinct career paths. They make choices on roles based on whether it fits within their career path. They might involve themselves with projects for the only purpose of marketing themselves for future job positions.I have never been one of these people. There are many aspects of my life that I “plan out” meticulously. However this has never been one of them. I have always had the attitude of “Whatever happens, happens.”

In fact, I would never have been in my current position if it weren’t for the fact that Marvy went through the trouble of submitting my application and my dearie friend Jo arranged for me to meet with the hiring manager. Then in my first year on the job I excelled. In a very short period of time, most couldn’t imagine what our department would have been like without me. But, despite the fact that I had a good job fall into my lap, that pays me a decent wage, this is not the job I want.

I submitted my application to this other job back in 2001 and I still haven’t heard back from them. Perhaps I should clean up my resume and send it in again. I mean it wouldn’t hurt right?

Dear Motherhood,

I would like to submit my application and resume for your consideration. I have been seeking a position in your company since 2001. I appreciate your time and look forward to the opportunity to excel in what I’m sure you would agree is the most demanding yet rewarding of the humanities.

Liv
http://the-life-of-liv.blogspot.com/

Objective
Executive position in field of Child Development and Human Relations for parlay of demonstrated organization, communication, creativity, resourcefulness and project management skills.

Experience
Served as primary birthing and labor coach to a friend in premature labor
Witnessed cesarean surgery first hand to same friend in premature labor
Delivered neighbor’s baby when midwives were unable to reach destination in time – listed on birth certificate
Developed lessons and taught in classrooms of varying age groups – from four-year-olds to forty-year-olds
Logged over 100 hours with reproductive health care professionals – received certificate as professional patient
Married to highly qualified child rearing partner

Profile
Motivated, personable professional with many hours accrued in the volunteer program. Talent for quickly developing solutions to challenging tasks both large and small– recently mastered the task of distracting twin four-year-olds enough to take a charming photo while holding an infant on hip and preventing a kool-aid disaster. Nurturing and caring with infants, toddlers, and elementary age children through teenagers. Accustomed to the handling and proper disposal of biohazardous material. Demonstrated history of coordination with the most complicated of schedules and appointments. Flexible and versatile – able to maintain a sense of humor under pressure.

References available upon request

Well, it still needs a little work this is just my first draft. Let me know if (or when) any of you have found success with this job application in your area!