Feels like so much of this year has been about rounding corners to get to the next thing. Almost to the first RE appointment, almost to the HSG, almost to the IUI's, almost through with 2ww. And it doesn't stop now. Almost to 1st beta, almost to 2nd beta, almost to 1st ultrasound.
At one point does one stop to live in the moment?
I was staring at my blog summary and it said I had 90 posts. I thought to myself how I'm just rounding the corner to 100. But, honestly I'm having a heck of a time getting there lately. Feels like I jumped from 60-90 in no time flat and now getting to 100 sometime soon seems impossible. And why is that the case I wonder?
Is this just a temporary case of blogger's block? Was infertility my only muse? Has it left? Well, certainly not the infertile part. I still feel like an infertile, just one who happens to be experiencing something that she thought was impossible once upon a time.
Could it be contentment? Perhaps. Exhaustion? Maybe.
Interestingly enough I realize that I used to spend most of my time writing out blog posts and commenting on others when Marvy was on the other computer playing his A.xis & Al.lies game. Which if you know nothing about this game just know that it sucks hours from my husband's life. Well, he was only playing that as a way to cope with the infertility stuff. Now, both computers are off and we're just snuggling on the couch watching TV.
But, it still strikes me as odd that one of the happiest things that has ever happened to me leaves me speechless. Or wordless as it might be. Is it because it's still surreal? Very few people know right now. My dearie friend Jo, happened to look at my blog after a long time without reading and found out. But, we can't openly talk about it at work. So, about five couples are aware. None of our family knows yet, but that will change on Friday.
Am I going to feel different after that? Will I accept that this is really happening? Well, at the very least I should have plenty to blog about for you guys after that no?
::: :::
Just a couple of quick stories I'll share of the past week. Over the weekend the temperatures around here were 102 degrees, so we tried to stick to air conditioned locations like the movies and the mall. I asked Marvy if he would want to stop by a store that also sold baby stuff just to peruse and get some ideas. He loved it. He walked up and down every isle. Tested out strollers, made comments on cribs. He got all excited about a duo stroller with the J.eep brand. I just shook my head. "Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves here?"
He became obsessed with those little infant suits. The jacket shirt and tie pieces. He even found a tux. Thought it was the cutest thing. He found a pair of tux pants that must have been separated from the rest of the suit and had a price tag of $1. "Can we get it? It's only a dollar! Look it's so cute!" Uh, can we not wait on baby clothes until we know what's in there?
Then the next day I went to go hang out with a couple of girlfriends and he took off to another store, just to see what they had. I knew that the day we found out we were pregnant he would be excited, but at the same time this still surprises me and I find it completely adorable.
Last night he showed me what he bought online when he was at work:
At one point does one stop to live in the moment?
I was staring at my blog summary and it said I had 90 posts. I thought to myself how I'm just rounding the corner to 100. But, honestly I'm having a heck of a time getting there lately. Feels like I jumped from 60-90 in no time flat and now getting to 100 sometime soon seems impossible. And why is that the case I wonder?
Is this just a temporary case of blogger's block? Was infertility my only muse? Has it left? Well, certainly not the infertile part. I still feel like an infertile, just one who happens to be experiencing something that she thought was impossible once upon a time.
Could it be contentment? Perhaps. Exhaustion? Maybe.
Interestingly enough I realize that I used to spend most of my time writing out blog posts and commenting on others when Marvy was on the other computer playing his A.xis & Al.lies game. Which if you know nothing about this game just know that it sucks hours from my husband's life. Well, he was only playing that as a way to cope with the infertility stuff. Now, both computers are off and we're just snuggling on the couch watching TV.
But, it still strikes me as odd that one of the happiest things that has ever happened to me leaves me speechless. Or wordless as it might be. Is it because it's still surreal? Very few people know right now. My dearie friend Jo, happened to look at my blog after a long time without reading and found out. But, we can't openly talk about it at work. So, about five couples are aware. None of our family knows yet, but that will change on Friday.
Am I going to feel different after that? Will I accept that this is really happening? Well, at the very least I should have plenty to blog about for you guys after that no?
::: :::
Just a couple of quick stories I'll share of the past week. Over the weekend the temperatures around here were 102 degrees, so we tried to stick to air conditioned locations like the movies and the mall. I asked Marvy if he would want to stop by a store that also sold baby stuff just to peruse and get some ideas. He loved it. He walked up and down every isle. Tested out strollers, made comments on cribs. He got all excited about a duo stroller with the J.eep brand. I just shook my head. "Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves here?"
He became obsessed with those little infant suits. The jacket shirt and tie pieces. He even found a tux. Thought it was the cutest thing. He found a pair of tux pants that must have been separated from the rest of the suit and had a price tag of $1. "Can we get it? It's only a dollar! Look it's so cute!" Uh, can we not wait on baby clothes until we know what's in there?
Then the next day I went to go hang out with a couple of girlfriends and he took off to another store, just to see what they had. I knew that the day we found out we were pregnant he would be excited, but at the same time this still surprises me and I find it completely adorable.
Last night he showed me what he bought online when he was at work:
A must have Denver Broncos Onezie. Yeah, so it's Cutler who much to my disappointment is now in Chicago...but it was only 7 bucks. He couldn't resist. I told him that it wouldn't be until Football Season of the year 2011 before the baby would even be able to wear it. Didn't stop him.And me? I had mild nausea the first week in the afternoons, but this whole week I haven't really had any. Getting up in the middle of the night more that once, to use the bathroom has started. I thought to myself last night that I will probably not know a night when my head hit the pillow and I never wake up until morning in a long, long time. :o) My tummy is bigger, I look like the size I was before I lost 10 pounds last year. Although I suppose much of that is from the meds. Had to bring out my fat pants. Which seems awfully early for 5 weeks to have to already be making wardrobe concessions.
Tomorrow is 6 weeks and first ultrasound is Friday. Cross your fingers everything's as it should and we get to enjoy a lovely surprising of the parents this weekend.
