And Just What Does a Breakdown Look Like?

I wish this was what my breakdown looked like. That would be pretty sweet. Too bad I don't have those kind of mad skillz that I could create a little post-pardum-breakdown breakdance. Or do I? Hmm...

On second though there is no such thing as a nursing bra with enough support out there to prevent serious injury. I'd need a helmet.

Telling this side of the story is going to be tricky. Mostly because I don't remember a lot of it. So, I'll try my best to share the dark side as much as I try to lift the fog.

Part I: How Things Started - Pre-Episodes

Things were going very well with sweet Baby Max at the hospital to my knowledge. Sure I cried uncontrollably when Marvy's parents were going to leave and travel the 5 hours back to their home - so much so that my MIL decided to change her mind. But, heck that's the hormones right? I continued to cry as the lactation consultant was trying to help me and my FABULOUS midwife sat with me just to chat for the better part of 45 minutes. Again...happens to us all in this circumstance.

My milk came in within three days and the breastfeeding was going pretty well - relatively speaking. I had swollen and sore nipples that felt like commercial grade sandpaper. Looking back, I actually wish I had that problem from the first week instead of what I'm dealing with now. Both boobs were working with relief from a nipple shield. The LC diagnosed my "Mt. St. Helen's Boob" as a bifurcated, inverted and double nipple. Told ya'll I was messed up. :o) At home, the biggest challenge was the fact that I was not finding a comfortable feeding position. I was using a mountain of pillows plus the bo.ppy and I was still feeling like I had a horrible pinched nerve in my shoulder. (More on that "pinched nerve" later)

The LC Fight - Wendy vs. Kay

The point came when I knew I needed to pump in order to prevent engorgement. I thought I was prepared because I had the pump already. With coaching from Wendy the long distance Lactation Consultant, I learned that I needed a bigger size breast shield (the funnel looking things on the breast pump) then what came in the box. Wendy was a highly recommended LC, by my doula and also by my Brad.ley instructor. The only trouble was she was located an hour away, so we did a lot of consulting over the phone. Kay was the other some what recommended LC, but the problem with her was that she lacked serious bedside manners and she was quick to bill (a pretty penny too) plus sell you on the things in her store. However, she was conveniently located about a 15 minute drive away. So, I trusted Wendy to be my LC and I figured I'd use Kay for her store.

So at Wendy's insistence, I needed a 36mm breast shield. They come in 24mm, 27mm, 30mm, and 36mm. After checking around with Tar.get they only had the smallest two sizes. So, I called over to Kay's place and her assistant answered and within 30 seconds I learned that they carried the size that I needed and they were closing in 30 min. I sent Marvy over there with very basic details to pick up the size that I needed per Wendy's instructions. Marvy was a bit confused because he had no clue as to what I was needing despite the fact that I stated exactly what it was. (How is a guy supposed to understand parts to a breast pump anyway? Lol) He also wasn't 100 on Kay's location. I told him we didn't have much time, I gave him the phone number and said to get on the highway and they can direct him from there.

My MIL was here at the time, and she sensed that Marvy was agitated and was afraid he would get lost. I, on the other hand knew that once he received the instructions from the store he'd be set, because I knew where they were and it was on Marvy's route to and from work - so he'd be fine. My MIL decided to call the store and asked for explicit instructions. This time it wasn't the assistant that picked up it was Kay. My MIL is not from this area, so when the person on the other line said, "Go North on XYZ, and exit hwy 1234"... that meant nothing to her so she was exacerbating the situation my trying to clarify every turn. So, my MIL basically thought Kay was rude and completely unhelpful because she didn't like how she gave directions. (Meanwhile I think Kay thought this person must be clueless)

While this is going on poor Marvy is getting a busy signal trying to call Kay!

Then Kay decides to prompt my MIL as to what exactly do we need. She states it's the 36mm breast sheild. Kay peppers us with the following:
Why do you need that size? No one needs that size.
Who told you? What LC? What's her name?
If you were to have come here I would have measured you appropriately.
What you were told by the other LC is old school and completely unnecessary.

Me: It's only $12.50...I'm simply following instructions from my LC and trying prevent engorgement here. (crying ensues)

My MIL then yanks the phone out of my hand and gives Kay a piece of her mind. It was madness. My confidence was completely sunk. Marvy came home with a measuring device and he helped me measure them and it seemed as though the extra large size was unnecessary, so I had him take the big size back the next day. What I didn't realize at the time was that it wouldn't be until I pumped that the entire nipple would make it's appearance.

In the end I lost even more days not pumping.

This takes us to Thursday and the beginning of "The Episodes".

to be continued...